My ignorant view of things

What is it with us humans, our need, nay our compulsion to have to feel something for someone else all of the time. To want to spend time with people, to loathe being on our own. Are we afraid that when we’re on our own we may discover something about ourselves we never wanted to know? Worried we may realise we made a mistake or the wrong choice too long ago to do anything about? or is it just that we find other peoples company more pleasurable than our own.

For me being a recluse has always been natural. I’ve often had to spend time in my own company, and admittedly at times it can get all too repetitive, I make sure I have my distractions, a movie, a blog article to write (irony), a game to play. At the same time, I still do go out and do things on my own, go see bands or go for a walk. And It does make me struggle to realise what is wrong with a bit of solitude… Even Superman had a place to go where he could just be himself!

This makes me really struggle to understand those people who are obsessed with only doing something or going somewhere when its not just on their onesy or with a single other person, are they that concerned by being considered a social pariah by people that they can’t even contemplate doing something like that?

However, the more I think about this the more I think that I might just be looking for a reason to accept myself as a larry…

Paradoxical

I’m stuck in a bind at the moment with my approach to girls, because I only really meet viable ones whilst on nights out, yet, I don’t think I could start seeing someone that stuff had actually happened when I did meet them but at the same time I don’t think I could start seeing someone that was a good friend (despite constantly falling for friends). Can someone advise me on a way out of this?

Sorry that entry was far from my best

Social behavior

Where the hell have so many of these social network habits come from. I mean what possesses someone to want to spend hours of their time rating people out of 10 for looks personality and closeness, or 5 retweets for 5 retweets, it’s just like “OMG I want to be acknowledged” and this is one time in which I feel sound of mind when I say not all press is good press.

I can understand that being the generation of the social network that the boundaries and lines of what behavior is acceptable and whats unacceptable but I mean when it comes to the “interactive grey area” I tend to try and keep to the question “Would I do that face to face” and surprisingly there are a many great number of things to which I actually say no to.

Another on is the shameless type of pictures some people upload of themselves or even if they’re not particularly offensive photos its the sheer fact of how many of them there are, surely no one person can have the desire to live their entire life through a camera lens, cause if you’re always trying to capture the moment in time you’ll most likely end up missing out on them. 

Not to mention the ridiculous use of generic meaningless captions on photos “You don’t need anyone else to tell you you’re beautiful” with an over edited not very flattering photo, probably in black and white because everything need to be in black and white… seriously why? Please can someone enlighten me… 

Furthermore, with tumblr the constant reblogging of photos if people you find attractive, or people with feature you want, I get it I mean I’m sure you doing that will eventually cause you to have those features or that “ideal” person will fall just as infatuated with you as you are them…

Here… Again?

So here I am again, lying in bed unable to fall asleep, why did I have to have a nap earlier, anyway since I’m here I might as well waste time and write something horrendously ignorant for y’all to hate me over.

If you’ve got any suggestions they’d be welcome

Two types of people

There are two types of people in this world, those who work for a living and black people… Okay I’m sorry for that crude opening but hey you’re still reading so I guess I’ll carry on. The two type of people I’m talking about are the ones who can see things for a long term goal and ones who are focused on enjoying the now. 

I think I fall into the latter classification, although less due to the amount I live in the moment and more due to my undying ability to not put any effort into a long term prospect. I think both type has its upsides because I mean, life is fleeting we lose a moment with each one that passes, as Ferris Bueller famously says “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it” and this does have an aspect of truth. Even the richest man can be sad at the life he never lived.

However there are the obvious benefits to looking at things in the long run as you’ll most likely live a long and prosperous life. However I cant really focus on this side of things as I’ve never really lived with that mentality on life. Instead I’m going to discuss what I see as the reasons someone might only ever be able to live for the here and now.

I’m not going to say the obvious and in my opinion at least wrong choice, that they can’t see the long term benefits because, speaking from my experience at least, I’m well aware of what I could potentially gain from putting in the work now. However, for me at least this presents me with my greatest phobia of what if I do this work then still don’t reach the heights expected of me. At least without trying I can use that as an excuse, I know it’s pathetic but blame my genetics…

Another reason for me is that I need constant gratification on what I’m doing. Now I think this may be the main reason I’m so easily drawn into playing video games, I mean if you think about it on xbox you get achievements for certain feat’s on a game and any game with leveling up systems where you improve upon leveling I am almost instantly addicted. The most successful one at this I must say is World of Warcraft, a game that captured me for many a teenage night.

And the reason for this? it’s not that I necessarily have nothing better to do but fill up my boredom, no, it’s more that in this world I can put little effort in and complete a quest, level up, make my character better… Now I know many will be quick to judge but I prey they manage to look past the loser aspect of that and actually see what I’m trying to convey in the anecdote.

All in all I don’t really know why I wrote about this, it may be partly due to the fact it’s nearly 4 in the morning and I feel more awake than a coke addict does after the first bump of the night, or it may be I wanted to boast about playing WoW for my adolescent years; ladies form an orderly queue please… Or it could just be that I wanted to explain, to all those people who do look for what they can get out of something in the long term, that it’s not just that we’re lazy or uninspired.

Looking for… women?

Now I know this may come as a massive shock to some of you but I have been single for what’s coming up to three years… Shock I know right? However as much as I would like to say it was out of choice sadly I don’t think I could get away with that, nevertheless I’m not going to proceed by writing some self-deprecating spiel about how boring/ugly/lame I am, because it just wouldn’t be true, ummm yeah lets go with that.

Instead I’m going to write about what kind of things I’d want in a girl,in the ever optimistic hope that she’ll fabricate next to me as I do so. Now I don’t mean the typical drivel about how I want them to be nice, funny and beautiful. You know what any guy would say to try seem all cute, instead I’m going to be honest and actually mention some things I find to be relevant for a person to be considered attractive through my eyes.

Okay so number one I would have to say is tolerant because lets not joke around here I can be such a dick at times they’d have to be able to withstand from punching me in the face every now and again. The second would be loquacious as I can be dull as ditch water and I’d need them to be able to fill in the times where I’m not talking. The third, and slightly snootily would be an academic, preferably an English student as I do use abnormal words and I’ve been told it can make people either find me pretentious or, the less likely, make them feel stupid, neither of which I am going for. 

Now for a few of the more cliched ones that are obvious but nonetheless here we go, a similar sense of humour, because I’m not very good at picking up on other peoples jokes, and not many people find mine funny. A nice smile, as few things are more comforting than someone you care for giving you a smile to let you know everything is okay, and also you don’t want too much gum no-one likes a gummy smile. Nice eyes; that can catch your attention from across the room.

Okay so I got those few out the way for now I’ll go back to the more personal ones. I’d like someone with the ability to call me out once and a while, keep me levelheaded, I don’t like the idea of someone who’d just sit back and agree with what ever I said because to be frank I say a fair amount to try and provoke a response, now you can call me a masochist or sadist or whatever you like, but it’s not like that. When we know what causes a certain reaction we can then avoid repeating it, if undesirable, or recreate the emotion etc. 

Fairly obvious but they’d most definitely have to be a fan of films and when I say films I’m not including anything that is mainly based around romance, because that shit is just rubbish, nor can it feature vampires that glisten in the sun or be about men taking their clothes off and dancing. But can enjoy a good rubbish film or more importantly laugh and even quote a Will Ferrell comedy. And if possible a functioning knowledge of the life and works of Quentin Tarantino I wouldn’t complain.

They’d have to be strong willed and willing to tell me to stop being such a daft prick some of the time, when I let the less cheery thoughts take hold for an evening. Now I’m not meaning I’m bipolar but it’s only human to allow doubt to take control at times…

Now that’s pretty much all I can really think of for now so I guess thanks for reading, and if you meet the criteria just hit me up yeah? :)

p.s. Can’t go wrong with a cracking pair of tits either.

I wish my hit counter should how many different people read this as opposed to solely how many times it’s been visited so then I could know how many peoples time I’ve wasted

I’m in the kind of mood where I want someone to give me justifiable reason to let out my pent up anger towards them.